11 Things Not To Tell Your Parents About Your Boyfriend

Your family is almost always happy when you're in a happy relationship. But there are certain details about your beau that veer squarely into TMI and don't need to be shared.

One of my college friends just told me she'd had an "overshare" moment with her parents yesterday. She was filling them in on the guy she is seeing casually — he's an amazing musician and a really incredible person all around. But she happened to mention that he has a few tattoos and one nipple piercing. By the way they reacted, she told me, you'd think he was a card-carrying communist or something. So she was really bummed, but she did express relief that she hadn't said something like, "His hands are deceptively small." Ha!

So I asked my mom what else a parent would not want to hear about her daughter's boyfriend. She gave me the following a list. A parent would not be happy knowing …

That he's ever had an addiction.

That he cheated on his ex.

That he also likes guys.

That he believes in something strange like extraterrestrials.

That he plays video games 10 hours/week.

That he has zero ambition.

That he talks to his mom twice a day (because that means you will never be #1 and the mom will be a wedge (mama is hard to give up)).

That he is estranged from his parents (because if things are so bad that he can't be near them, then there is hurt and baggage. Even if it's not his fault, there will be scars).

That he has a record. (As in, criminal record.)